As of last night, I was in my favorite place. I was where I knew I could smile with no weight. I was with someone that would understand that smile, take it for what it was worth and smile with me.
This is the first time I've been here for more than a brief day-long excursion since I was engaged. It felt wrong, briefly, to be here without her. I asked those feelings if they would allow me to have a good time, and thus far, they have obliged. I could very easily wallow in the misery that sits, so tangibly, just below the surface sometimes. I could shake my head at every thought and be in a "mood". But then, why honor such a wonderful memory with such horrible thoughts. Let me, instead, cherish those moments I recall and hold them where they belong, still so close to my heart.
When I step on that beach, my whole life will change again. It was there she looked at me with those perfect eyes and smiled and cried with me. It was there, on a cold and blustering day, dressed to the nines, that we didn't bother to think. Feeling was good enough.
I love her with depths unimaginable.
