Heal Me

Heal me with thoughts I shouldn't be thinking. Heal me with glances that only we understand, with some hidden subtext. I can feel some gentle pulse when we communicate. Every moment that I think on you is like some sort of suspended animation. What seems like hours in thought is really seconds.

The complicated parts of all of this have not even begun to appear. Still I welcome the challenge for the rewards it will produce someday. I have so many reasons, 116 and then some. I have so many ideas and hopes and thoughts and wishes to share.

So heal me every time a passing thought comes crashing my way. I'll do my best to return the favor.

Blood On My Lips

Some sort of sick twisted love
And I hate that i'm so callous to it's causes
to it's undeniable reasons that leave me stranded
caught without a paddle or rope
No love and no hope
No chance of surviving or thriving on your stale inflection
And in my reflection is you
trapped in this prison
cell made for escape like this blood
on my lips and that sway that you make
when you walk with your hips
in wide circulation like soft meditiation from all of your fears
While my tears make a waterfall over my face
falling to ground in silence ungolden
And blazoned with streaks from showers above
I still hope for
Some sort of sick twisted love

Spin

The road I've walked is unique. The time i've spent in love and hate has been my traveling companion. It comforts me, excite me, destroy me. It is my dearest companion. Still, sometimes it fails to enlighten, or even to sadden. In those times, love and hate will leave the world to work it's mysticism. Will leave Destiny to show me the way or set up the road block. Those are the times I'm most uncomfortable. When I have no control over life, pulling me in the direction I have no choice but to go.

It's that way, too, when I meet new people. Possibilities abound in my mind. A universe of notions and questions wells up inside me, begging to be freed. To be given permission to speak. I am prone to caution in those moments when perfection overwhelms. From the first lock of an eye, or a shared smile, and new universes spin into existence, just as other ones die in quiet endings.

This charmed existence I lead is one i will never regret, even when the pain is overwhelming. The road I've walked is a beautiful stretch of wishes and dreams both granted and denied. The road I've walked is filled with the beauty of amazing people. Those people that made me whole and broke me in half and changed my life in the smallest and largest ways.

Sometimes I can almost hear the Moirai chatter in the distance, like gentle rolling summer thunder. Always spinning, measuring, cutting...

Once Upon A Time Girl

You are my once upon a time girl
Always there at the end of my story
Like some long forgotten bedtime ritual
That, after, left me with heavy eyes

Now kissed with complexity
Eyes closed in a mockery of rest
I only see your face in false memory
Where such boundaries have no end

Like some long forgotten bedtime ritual
Once upon a time

A Quick Quote

...So When I tell you that I love you
Don't test my love
Accept my love, don't test my love
Cause maybe I don't love you all that much

---Dan Bern "Jerusalem"

Before

Before I was, I was nothing
That was yesterday
Today I am, and tomorrow lingers

Before I was, I was nothing
Everything lost, nothing was sacred
Someday I'll be better than tomorrow

Before I was, I was nothing
That was yesterday
That was before you