Reminder

It's midnight. I guess that means it's Memorial Day. I haven't slept yet. The city is making it's music outside, not bothering me, just intriguing me. Cocktail is on the television. Tom Cruise before the scientology, Brian Brown with a career. I am reminded of the philosophy of it all.

I think back on today and smile. The smell of the grass, the sky in some sort of over-saturated brilliant blue. No matter how dirty the water in that river is, it looked beautiful in the glinting sun. Six years and she has the same effect. She makes me remember how many realities there really are in the world. She makes me remember how beautiful life is, how beautiful she is. She underplays it but it still shows, like the glinting sun.

I think back on today, with my eyes almost too heavy to keep open, and I remember walking and the sites and the sounds and the smell of her, all suntan lotion and lovely. It felt surreal, like the feeling I get from the city.

I am always falling in love with her. I am always falling in love with this city. The place that holds some sort unexplainable beauty for me. The subway ride, no matter how short, reminded me that I should be here. Seeing her walking toward me down the street floored me and I fought to stay standing.

It always feels so directed at her. When I really consider this emotion, this feeling that runs so deep through me when I think of her I know it has so much more meaning than that. It is a reminder, like this city, that life is worth living for so many reasons. That life isn't just for touching, but for diving into and wrapping around you. She reminds me that I am capable of being alive because I can see how alive she is.

Cars are blaring their horns in the city outside, and down the hall, a beautiful woman is fast asleep. I hope she knows the effect she has had on me these six years. So many times, in the midst of turmoil and hard times, she has been a reminder.