Dancing Like Wall Shadows

I remember the late nights with only myself, so long ago. I remember the discovery and analysis from dark, gentle conversations with demons that belonged to me, and I to them. I remember my eyes flickering in my drowsiness, dancing like wall shadows across my eyes, trying to force me to sleep. I sit here in the dark, a candle burning. So easy to recall those nights, when reminders surround me.

Nighttime feels safe. Turning to look at myself, in this mirror of sudden recall, I see the same person. A person lost but always following some course that has no explanation other than it feels right. In some twisted simple way everything works out in my head. It all makes sense when there is nothing to see but inside.

I wonder where the path is going now. I am scared that this same person I am so capable of being will not be prepared for the road ahead and where it may lead. I am not running. Something must be keeping those anchors that keep me here from breaking.

Still I am not concerned or worried or sad about what it may be that lets me stay. I have never wound up somewhere, met someone, loved someone that I could argue my luck. So, like dark self-analysis, I smile at memories of tomorrow.