Missing Perfection

The realization just hit me. It was a few moments ago and I got a picture in my email. A picture of someone I have already seen. A picture of someone who I already knew was beautiful. And my breath wouldn't return, my heart wouldn't beat for what felt like an eternity because of the sudden tide.

I was swept out onto the river again. I was sitting, eyes closed, with the heat of the fire dancing on my face. I was watching a bridge rise up out of the horizon and wishing it was hours away. I was falling in love with a memory and a picture of a girl I had already seen.

I had already seen her. I had already fallen for her so long ago. Still it was there so suddenly again, an emotion that reappeared without warning. Somehow the moment lasted an eternity with that picture in front of me. If the world were more cruel, the phone would have rung at that instant and it would have been her and the truth would have burst from my lips unbidden. Still the only sound in my room is the whirring and humming of my computer. No ringing phone and barely breath escaping my lips.

I keep missing perfection. I find it and let it slip, fall away from me like those little plastic toys that you just can't hold onto. I knew she was there. I had known about the feelings for so long. Suddenly they had surged again. Suddenly my soul danced and laughed, happy that such emotion still existed for me.

I keep missing perfection, and now every day I will be missing her.