Coming Around Again

The sunlight is hours away right now and still I look forward to it. I look forward to it because it means beginning again. I need this beginning. I have had so many false starts in the recent past. Places I thought were beginnings that did not turn out as I'd hoped. Life has certainly been throwing the curve balls lately.

Still, I see summer coming around again. I see Martha's Vineyard sunsets and warm rains. I can imagine the feeling of sweating in New England heat. I laugh now at the comments to come about how "I hope it gets cooler tomorrow."

Now is the time for embracing those things we've lost track of. Now is the time for rekindling and remembering. Now is the time to brush off winter's half-dazed hibernation and grab our lives firmly at the scruff of the neck and take control. Now is the time to get the tears out, the screams out, the sighs out like spring cleaning.

I want to see my own reinvention through internal eyes. I want to weep at beauty not at pain. I want to be strong enough to do the hardest thing in our lives. I will fight to be myself. Even when I am scared of who I may be, I want to embrace all I can be, not let it go wasted into oblivion.

The sunlight is hours away and the moonlight comforts me. The cool breeze rolling over my window sill is urging me to crawl under the remaining blankets and fall asleep with the night air all around me. So I will say my wishes and drift off with a smile on my face tonight. Because tonight I know that nothing was forgotten. Tonight, in my dreams, i'll be dancing.