Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Losing Everything

What do I have to lose except for everything? What do I have to worry about except falling with no parachute into some situation I have no control over? When did I start caring whether it was dangerous or irresponsible or just plain fucking crazy? I could look in the mirror right now, even just into some reflective surface and see myself and wonder who the hell I am to be so prudent, so responsible, so cautious and paranoid.

Losing everything is the risk that I take every day, with every decision to live my life the way I want to, to be the person I want to be, not who they want me to be. Everything could vanish so easily. Nothing makes things vanish faster than ignoring them, letting them be stagnant because I am too cautious to take the chance.

This is dangerous.
This could end in a flaming heap of heartache and drama.
This could fall apart around us before we can stop it.
This...is living.

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