Monday, May 16, 2005

Intrigue

I have been intrigued. The simplicity of that feeling has only recently been fully explained through my own experiences. I can see where this path of intrigue might lead. I can see where I'd like it to lead. The path and my hopes for it have not given any big sign as to their intentions. I do not know if I have a chance.

I can hope for the opportunity. I can hope, and pick a new star to have a new wish for. I can stare up at my flat, darkened ceiling and replay the time spent. I can run the video playback in my mind, looking for any possible problems. I can wake up in the morning remembering the intrigue first.

It seems the only thing I cannot do is have confidence. I cannot believe that I should be given a chance. It's self-defeating and ridiculous. I do deserve a chance. I still find myself attempting to soften a non-existent blow.

I'm intrigued and helpless. I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not. I could say this will end badly but I don't think it will. Still, the future
is still the future. And the video tape in my mind is still just the past.

In the present, thinking of the laughter and the good times shared. As i'm thinking of the random and the conversations about nothing and something, my intrigue sits inside my head, legs crossed, eyes closed and smiling.

1 comment:

Lady said...

Interesting?..I believe every one should be given at least one chance. Don't you?