A game of smiles

I could spend paragraphs speaking of the weather. Hours talking about how incredibly cold it is outside. But then, you only need to step outside to know the weather and you would tire of me telling it.

Instead, I'll talk of other things. The day was filled with weather and friends. Lately, have my days been filled with friends. How lucky I am to have people around me like those I call my friends. I only hope they know how much they mean to me.

Tonight I played the game of smiles. Tonight I danced on the edge of the "getting to know you and not scare you away" blade, eyes closed in constant fear of slipping, bleeding. Instead, not a scratch and more understanding than I could have hoped for. Tonight I talked and listened and laughed. I laughed. Not because it was the right thing to do, but because it felt right.

What is it about our pasts that makes it the first thing we talk about with someone new to our lives? Is it because we hope to catch a glimpse of the "why" behind the person we've met? Is it because we know, somewhere inside, that everyone is defined by their past? I sat there tonight, my past laid out on the table with coffee and a corn muffin. I sifted through it and shared what I could in the time I had. Her past was there too, a small plate of past to go with her ice cream. We ate our food and shared our stories. It was dangerous, honest. What if it was too much? What if it was too honest? What if it showed who I was, who I am? I shared, because, sometimes, risking it is worth the paranoia. Every moment i hoped that someday we'd have a story about this night, and the muffin and the ice cream and the song.

Our stories. Those stories about our lives that make us laugh or contemplate. Those stories that we work on, practicing by telling, perfecting the timing and the hook. The sharing is such a dynamic. I lose myself in your words. I want to know. It makes me feel alive to hear about life. Even the most mundane story fills me with excitement. Even the most ridiculous, side-splittingly funny tale of times past makes me contemplate and think of my own life.

This game of smiles. This game i cannot win. So few people can make me feel this way. Those that can will understand. You make me alive. I thrive on people, on thoughts and stories. You are the storytellers, the dramateurs, the seers of the mundane. You make me simple and basic. You take away my complication. You make me smile.

Things I learned today:
- Show and tell is the greatest children's activity ever invented.
- Expectations are adjustable.
- Sometimes you just need a "milkshake". Right Kat?