Level

It's nice to know that when I can see rock bottom i'm not going to instantly hit it. I have been not-quite-myself recently now that I've seen, once again, how ugly life is. I've been mad at Destiny for the first time. I'm trying. Libra says it's all we can do. I know she's right. So i'm trying to believe that all of this is good, in some fashion.

Let's talk lyrics today. I've been listening to a lot of lyrics lately. I've been searching out those albums and songs that best define my mood. I didn't want to enhance my mood, but I find some comfort in the words of others expressing my feelings for me. It means I'm not completely alone.

I miss Toad the Wet Sprocket. Glenn Phillips was an amazing songwriter and an excellent singer. Their music always told stories that I understood and often could relate to. The other day I had a random thought that I should grab my Toad CDs. I own Fear and Coil. I have a lot more songs from some of the other albums (Dulcinea etc...) on my computer but for physical CDs it's only those 2. Lo and behold I actually only have Coil. Fear was stolen last year when my car got broken into. So i have 2 cases and only one CD. I immediatlely, this morning, hit the Half.com and ordered a copy of Fear. It was a whopping three dollars and some change.

Listening to Coil. I remember how much i like the guitar and bass in this song called "Dam would break". I listened to the lyrics and I smiled.

Is it this place that makes me fall from you
Forget the words that once rang so true
Did we expect that life was ever fair, my god...
I sowed a field of rose and reaped a whipping rod
And everything I've held too tight inside
Could make a part of me die
And if my lips could only speak the name
The dam would break

What is this ice that gathers round my heart
To stop the flood of warmth before it even starts
It would make me blind to what I thought would always be
The only constant in the world for me
And every hours of every day
I need to fight from pulling away
And if my mind could only loose the chain
The dam would break

For all the things I hid away
And all the words I could not say
The dam would break


Things I learned today (yesterday):
- When someone says something interesting that you want to write in your blog, write it down! Otherwise, when you come to write in your blog, you forget what they said.
- I have tried being mad at destiny, but I still can't believe in coincidence.