Monetary

As in money. As in how much I have. As in none.

My life is not horrible. My life is not the worst life. My life is complicated, annoying and lacking all optimism. My future got blown up in my face last year. I've been attempting to recover from that incident for months. In the process I've stumbled across new and frustrating things that promptly blew up in my face.

So i'm broke. So is most of America right? Does that make it easier to deal with? Does it make it ok that I may have to give up this job i have now, that I love so much, because of the one thing in my life i need and the one thing i despise the most...money?

I'm ok with life not being fair. I'm ok with life not giving me any leeway. I've been so lucky with so many things in my life. The one thing i've always struggled with is money. I've worked, hard. I've tried to manage my money (no i'm not the best, but i have very little debt due to spending.) and still I find myself here. Broke. Tired. I've been lucky in love, i've been lucky with my health and my family and my friends and so many things. Just once, i want to be lucky with my money. I'm not asking for the lotto. I'm asking for a chance. I'm not even asking. I'm complaining.

It doesn't matter. Regardless of my poor outlook on this and other parts of my life, i'm still functional. I'm still doing what I need to do. I'm still searching for the job, still keeping in mind the things I HAVE to do.

But don't ask me to be happy. Not about this. Not yet. One thing at a time.

Things I learned today:
- I need a thing for my registration and insurance info. Cuz when i get pulled over, it sucks to go "uuhh...hold on a sec..."
- Money...schmoney.