No Coincidence

I awoke to the sound of beeping from outside my window. Not the beeping of a friend saying "get your ass up". It was the plow guys. I went out and cleaned off the car and moved it down to the visitor parking (i live in a condo complex, did you figure that one out?). A rather rude awakening. None so rude as the awakening that I had last night though.

Yesterday was Destiny slapping me in the face. It's small subtle things that you may even say "what the hell?" to. But I took them as more than that and I think that's what matters. Someone was trying to tell me something.

It started with a student of mine telling me that her father is the principle of my old high school. He was there when I was. Her brother was a freshman there when i was a senior. It's frightening the coincidence. She shocked me. Whack number 1.

Then I found out information about a dear friend of mine. She's had some fairly life changing experiences recently. She was dealing with them at her own pace, much to the chagrin of some of the (ok, one of the) other people involved. I learned that she had done what she was most fearing. She had faced the situation, not just with herself, but with the people she was closest to. They took it in stride as far as she can tell and she is happier, i think. I am so extremely overloaded with pride for her and the way she dealt with everything. She is amazing and I know that this situation is good. It may not be perfect, but in her eyes i see a plethora of positive.

Then i got a phone call. It was a (excuse the cliche) "blast from the past" to say the very least. The message on my voice mail was so nonchalant. I was in complete and total shock. I stood there looking at my cellphone like "nah, i'm dreaming." But i'm not, I checked the message to make sure it was there this morning. It was. The person who called is so much an important part of my past. She shot to the forefront of my mind. That entire portion of my life flew by in a second. It was overwhelming. I need to call her back. I know you'll get another post about that.

So I went into the end of my evening feeling beaten and battered be some unknown force that was desperately trying to knock some sense into me. "There is Destiny, there is hope, remember what you believed, remember the past, remember the things that are truly important to you." I did. I do. Please don't hit me anymore with those damned coincidences that can't possibly be coincidences.

So this is today. Today is the culmination of more than a few days of emotional rollercoaster, real life being cruel, heartache and facing facts. I'm a little tattered. My approach, though, is changing. Let's get this done the right way. It's not going to be easier than it was a few days ago. I'm not going to like it more. But i remember now who I am. I remember what it was that has gotten me through this life and it's mountains of difficulty. I've got the bruises on my heart to prove it. Someone was trying to tell me something yesterday, I'm here saying "I GOT IT!". Now I just hope she believes me.

Things I learned today (yesterday):
- Don't deny it.
- Truth is often refreshing. Hard. But often refreshing.
- Sometimes, maybe, our past does help to shape our future.
- Optimisim is hard, Pessimism is hard and Realism is makes the other two look like Candyland.