Sunday, January 16, 2005

One more confession

So many things going on at the same time. I'm not even prepared for most of them. I want to be everywhere at once. I want to experience it all. I can't. I choose those things that seem most important and hope i'm right.

From all sides come confessions and decisions and reality checks. Smiling faces and tear-filled eyes. Wine bottles on counters, betraying thoughts and feelings. I wish I could do this all the right way. I wish there was a manual of the "right way" to begin with. I need to know that the future will be good. Not for me. For others. For her. I miss her and I'm not even gone. I try and remember that it's "all for the best", when all I want to do, tonight, is run to her, climb into bed next to her and hold her close to me. It breaks my heart more to break hers.

Things I learned today:
- Time doesn't equal pain. "Goodbyes are easy, it's the hellos that leave the scars."
- She can still smile. She'll make it through.

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